For a lot of years, I was all in on the job.
Success meant my career and the businesses I was building. I worked as hard as anyone around me, usually harder. I got great feedback. I was well thought of. And without ever deciding to, I let my faith, my family and my health slide to the back of the line.
I told myself it was temporary. Just get through this season. Just hit this goal. Then I’ll slow down.
Then a reorg eliminated my role.
Organizations change. Structures get redrawn, and sometimes a box with your name in it disappears. That’s part of business, and I don’t hold anything against anyone for it. It worked out for me. But it stopped me cold.
After all those years of over achieving, the one thing I had poured the most of myself into was the one thing that could tell me, in a single conversation, that it didn’t need me anymore.
That could never be true of God. It could never be true of my wife and my kids.
That was the moment I saw the drift. Nothing about it was dramatic. It was a slow trade I’d been making for years, one late night and one skipped workout and one distracted dinner at a time. I was giving my best to the thing that could let me go, and giving what was left to the people and the faith that never would.
So here’s what changed for me.
I still work hard. I love what I do and I want to be great at it. Caring less about work isn’t the answer. The answer is knowing what work is and what it isn’t.
My job is something I do. It’s not who I am. My identity rests on who God says I am, not on an org chart. When that’s settled, I actually lead better. I take more risks, I speak up more and I’m less afraid of losing a seat.
The people at home get my best, not my leftovers. That means protecting time on the calendar the same way I’d protect a board meeting. It means being present, not just in the room.
My health is a priority, not something I fit in when I can. It has a real place in my daily schedule now, because it’s part of how I show up for everything else.
If you’re early in your career, here’s what I wish someone had told me. Go all in on your work. Be excellent. Outwork people if you want to. But don’t hand your whole sense of worth to something that can reorganize you out of it.
Your company can value you. It just can’t be where your value comes from.
Ask yourself one honest question this week. If the job went away tomorrow, what would be left, and have I been taking care of it?
Don’t drift from what matters most. I did for a while. It’s a lot easier to steer back now than to find out the hard way later.
Related reading: Taking Breaks and Don’t Drift in Your First Leadership Role